Packers Stock Report: Extra Ketchup Edition

Randall Cobb ketchup

After the Green Bay Packers throttling of the Carolina Panthers, how do you put any Packers in the falling category?

You know the Packers are on a roll when 1) the safety position is a strength; 2) Nick Perry is healthy and playing well; 3) their top cornerback is out and barely anyone notices; 4) the injury list is short, especially when compared to recent seasons; and 5) Aaron Rodgers is saying he and the team could be playing better.

Rodgers is typically overly positive when the Packers are playing poorly. When the Packers are rolling, Rodgers usually talks about all the improvements that need to happen. As Packers fans, we want Rodgers in “we can be better” mode, not R-E-L-A-X mode.

Will all this jubilation carry into the bye week after a road victory over the Saints this week? Or will the #FireCapers hashtags return after Drew Brees knocks the Packers defense down a few pegs?

Who knows. Just when you think you have a decent grip on who’s good and who’s not good in the NFL, the Rams beat the Seahawks, the Cowboys start 5-1, Kyle Orton wins a couple games as a starting QB and you start making ice fishing plans for hell.

On to the Packers Stock Report:


Aaron Rodgers
After another dazzling game from his quarterback, Packers coach Mike McCarthy said Rodgers is playing better than he did during his 2011 MVP campaign. That sounds like it easily could be coachspeak hyperbole, but I think McCarthy is right. Rodgers makes a handful of ridiculously difficult throws per game (and mixes in a few nice runs, as well) and makes it all look much easier than it actually is.

Randall Cobb
Welcome to the rising category, Randall. It took you a little longer than we thought to arrive, but now that you’re here, please stay awhile. Oh, and since you’re probably going to be making a whole lot of money in the very near future, do you mind picking up the tab when the pizza delivery guy arrives? K, thanks!

Ha Ha Clinton-Dix
It’s refreshing to see the Packers defense flying around again. They’re still not the physical, hard-hitting force that teams fear, but in today’s league, you don’t have to be. What’s been maddening about the Packers defense in recent years was their lack of explosiveness. They were always a step slow, and if they were in position to make a play, they’d flail at the ballcarriers feet and whiff or get dragged an extra three yards. Clinton-Dix has helped bring some of that explosiveness back. He won’t knock a guy’s helmet off with a big hit or shut down the other team’s top WR, but he’s always around the ball and his tacking is getting better each week.


Nick Perry
It looks like there’s hope for Perry, after all. In a limited role, Perry has been stout on the edge against the run and an effective power pass rusher. Now, let’s see if he can stay healthy and continue to contribute in the season’s second half.

Letroy Guion
Who put a quarter in Guion? Ever since tearing up his old team on Thursday night, Guion has held his own inside and has even provided the occasional big play. Pro Football Focus gives Guion a positive grade in each of his last three games.

Casey Hayward
All the guy does is pick off passes. You could also put Davon House in this spot. Either way, the Packers deep secondary is leading the resurgence on defense.


The fan who dumped ketchup on Randall Cobb
It had to have been a Panthers fan guilty of this offense. Packers fans know how to catch the Packers player doing the Lambeau Leap and maintain control of their food and beverage. What if Cobb is allergic tomoatos? What if he prefers sauer kraut on his dogs? What if some of the ketchup got in his eye and he was blinded the rest of the game? These are all things fans sitting in the Lambeau Leap zone need to be aware of. Keep the players clean when they make the leap.

The Chicago Bears
The Bears’ recent struggles have nothing to do with the Packers or the Packers’ next opponent. But it’s always important that you never miss an opportunity to point out how the Bears still suck.


Adam Czech is a a freelance sports reporter living in the Twin Cities and a proud supporter of American corn farmers. When not working, Adam is usually writing about, thinking about or worrying about the Packers. Follow Adam on Twitter. Twitter .


10 thoughts on “Packers Stock Report: Extra Ketchup Edition

  1. It is high time that someone come forward and do the right thing for the organization. The Ketchup Man needs to be identified and held accountable for his deeds. Imagine if his carelessness leads to a decline in players willing to put their sartorial splendor in fans hands?

    I’m not saying Ketchup Man should lose his tickets or anything that draconian, but at a minimum the guy shouldn’t be allowed to eat during games because it’s evident he just can’t eat and congratulate a player at the same time.

      1. If you notice, the hand holding the ketchup source is gloved. To me that narrows the suspect list, shared below in descending order of likelihood.
        It’s either a Panthers fan – no Packers fans would be wearing gloves on a day like Sunday – or George Costanza from the hand-model episode of Seinfeld, or O.J. Simpson.

  2. The Bears have a cancer growing in the locker room, sucks to be them. Who will they biopsy? Cutler or Marshall? They can hope it is benign but we all know it is malignant…

    1. Cutler seem to always have this “so what, wise guy” expression on his face. His facial mannerisms just say “I don’t care”.

      He isn’t this way, but he looks the part so when things go south I can see why the fans, players, announcers and coaches get on his case in a way he might not deserve.
      My wife’s a long time Bronco fan. Loved Elway, Plummer and Tebow. She put up with Kyle Orton and Griese , but Cutler really got to her and she was so happy when he was traded.

  3. I love reading your stock reports, Adam. Always entertaining! I think Randall Cobb likes ketchup on his dogs, but was wondering “whassup…no onions?!!!”

    1. My mom makes this relish that is amazing. If I ever smuggle something that isn’t a flask of booze into Lambeau, it’d be my mom’s relish.

  4. As JimR in DC said, I love reading this every week and look forward to it. My favorite column especially when things are going great.

    I am glad to see Clinton Dix in the rising. I thought he should have been in last week but glad he’s there. Clearly is a big reason why our pass defense is so much improved this year. A home run pick by Teddy Tee!! I look forward to seeing Mike Pennel’s name mention in the rising next week.. So I’m a huge fan, shoot me. lol

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