The Packers got destroyed on Sunday night. It really wasn’t much of a game from about the middle of the second quarter on.
I’m not used to the Packers getting blown out, so I didn’t know how to react. My mind started wandering in the second half.
Instead of panicking or trying to figure out why my favorite football team just laid an egg on national TV, I started thinking about which Packers players reminded me of certain types of beer.
I like beer. I like the Packers. Thinking about beer and the Packers is a lot more fun than being depressed about the Packers losing to the Giants.
Here are my random thoughts on which Packers (and some non-Packers) remind me of certain types of beer. If you also want to take your mind off of Sunday night, use the comments section to chime in with some of your own comparisons.
Packers & Beer
Ryan Pickett: Darkness. Heavy and strong. Overwhelming if you’re not ready for it.
Tramon Williams: Grain Belt Nordeast. Punches the clock and comes ready to work every day.
Mike Neal: Michelob Golden Draft Light. Careful, the bottle breaks easily.
Donald Driver: Leinenkugel’s Honey Weiss. There are better options, but it remains a Wisconsin favorite.
Clay Matthews: Size 7 IPA. A little undersized, but brings it every time you pour one.
Jermichael Finley: Ten Cent Strohs. Whenever Finley drops a pass or says something stupid, fans pound ten cent Stroh’s and this happens.
Casey Hayward: Divine Oculust. Under-the-radar, but very good and gaining popularity.
A.J. Hawk: Coors Light. Great when you were in college…
Aaron Rodgers: Abbrassive Ale. Simply amazing. Usually the best.
James Jones: Miller High Life. People are always trying to trade it for something better.
Randall Cobb: Small Axe Golden Ale. Tasty, easy-to-consume, and room to get even better.
B.J.Raji: Bad Elf. Expensive. Disappears sometimes. Hard to find. REALLY good when it bothers to show up in your fridge.
Mike McCarthy: Spotted Cow. On the surface, appears to be just another light beer. Then you take a sip and realize there’s more to it.
Mason Crosby: Grandpa’s Moonshine. Careful around this stuff. One sip can destroy everything.
James Starks/Alex Green: Miller Lite. Kept in the fridge for appearance. When people grab a beer from your fridge, you hope they take a Miller Lite instead of the expensive and better good beer next to it.
Non-Packers & Beer
Jay Cutler: PBR. Consumed by bro douchebags who think they’re being ironic and cool.
Eli Manning: Bud Light. Bland. Boring. Uninspired. Really successful for some reason.
Minnesota Vikings: Bud Select 55. Wimpy. Pathetic. Annoying. Girly. What’s the point?
Detroit Lions: Furious. Like a swift kick to the nuts.——————
Adam Czech is a a freelance sports reporter living in the Twin Cities and a proud supporter of American corn farmers. When not working, Adam is usually writing about, thinking about or worrying about the Packers. Follow Adam on Twitter. Twitter .
9 thoughts on “How to Forget About the Packers Losing to the Giants (Hint: It Involves Beer)”
Awesome! Didn’t expect to find new beers to try when I logged onto my favorite Packers blog this morning. I’d add:
Woodson:Brother Thelonius. Complex. Definitely not a quick drink, but one to be savored. Underestimated at the drinkers own peril. Likely to lead to a headache in the morning.
I’ll have to give that one a try. Looks excellent.
lol… Adam, this is excellent. Spot on.
Adam – Perfect! Well done!! Thank you!!!
Everything taste’s like shit after that game…
Mike McCarthy mix Colt 45 and Schlitz malt liqour together and shake it up…For sure a bull involved that won’t change direction no matter how bad he looks. Colt 45 is what everyone watching his coaching is going to put to their head… Actually taste better when it is piss warm…
Offensive line… Cowardly light, comes in a can and has numerous leaks in it…
Defense… Balls ultra light, seriously lacking any bite, just about going through the motion of drinking…
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