The Packers got destroyed on Sunday night. It really wasn’t much of a game from about the middle of the second quarter on.
I’m not used to the Packers getting blown out, so I didn’t know how to react. My mind started wandering in the second half.
Instead of panicking or trying to figure out why my favorite football team just laid an egg on national TV, I started thinking about which Packers players reminded me of certain types of beer.
I like beer. I like the Packers. Thinking about beer and the Packers is a lot more fun than being depressed about the Packers losing to the Giants.
Here are my random thoughts on which Packers (and some non-Packers) remind me of certain types of beer. If you also want to take your mind off of Sunday night, use the comments section to chime in with some of your own comparisons.
Packers & Beer
Ryan Pickett: Darkness. Heavy and strong. Overwhelming if you’re not ready for it.
Tramon Williams: Grain Belt Nordeast. Punches the clock and comes ready to work every day.
Mike Neal: Michelob Golden Draft Light. Careful, the bottle breaks easily.
Donald Driver: Leinenkugel’s Honey Weiss. There are better options, but it remains a Wisconsin favorite.
Clay Matthews: Size 7 IPA. A little undersized, but brings it every time you pour one.
Jermichael Finley: Ten Cent Strohs. Whenever Finley drops a pass or says something stupid, fans pound ten cent Stroh’s and this happens.
Casey Hayward: Divine Oculust. Under-the-radar, but very good and gaining popularity.
A.J. Hawk: Coors Light. Great when you were in college…
Aaron Rodgers: Abbrassive Ale. Simply amazing. Usually the best.
James Jones: Miller High Life. People are always trying to trade it for something better.
Randall Cobb: Small Axe Golden Ale. Tasty, easy-to-consume, and room to get even better.
B.J.Raji: Bad Elf. Expensive. Disappears sometimes. Hard to find. REALLY good when it bothers to show up in your fridge.
Mike McCarthy: Spotted Cow. On the surface, appears to be just another light beer. Then you take a sip and realize there’s more to it.
Mason Crosby: Grandpa’s Moonshine. Careful around this stuff. One sip can destroy everything.
James Starks/Alex Green: Miller Lite. Kept in the fridge for appearance. When people grab a beer from your fridge, you hope they take a Miller Lite instead of the expensive and better good beer next to it.
Non-Packers & Beer
Jay Cutler: PBR. Consumed by bro douchebags who think they’re being ironic and cool.
Eli Manning: Bud Light. Bland. Boring. Uninspired. Really successful for some reason.
Minnesota Vikings: Bud Select 55. Wimpy. Pathetic. Annoying. Girly. What’s the point?
Detroit Lions: Furious. Like a swift kick to the nuts.——————