There’s a new commercial airing during NFL games that sums up Vikings fans perfectly. Perhaps you’ve seen it. If not, here’s a synopsis:
A mom is very proud of her family of Vikings “fans.” However, those Vikings “fan” family members shed their Helga horns to root for other teams faster than I give up on whatever new diet I’m trying in my neverending effort to lose 15 pounds.
One kid met a girl who was an Eagles fan, married her, and joined her in Eagles fandom.
Another kid met Emmitt Smith, took a picture with him, and immediately morphed into a Cowboys fan.
The last kid decided to become a Steelers fan because he liked hamburgers and the connection to Ben RothlisBERGER was so strong that he ditched the Purple People Eaters for the Steel Curtain.
The commercial is trying to show the broad range of team apparel for sale at NFL.com. But all it really does is make Vikings fans look even dumber and more bandwagon than they already are. In other words, it should be nominated for Commercial of the Year.
I live in Minnesota and I have to walk among Vikings fans every day. If I had a penny for every time a Vikings rube in a No. 69 Jared Allen jersey made a homophobic “fudge Packers” joke, I could have built Zygi Wilf’s new billion stadium myself. ‘Ol Zygi wouldn’t have had to fleece the taxpaying citizens of the Land of 10,000 Lakes to finance his playground.
I could waste more valuable blogosphere space ridiculing Vikings fans, but I won’t. They’re not worth it. Instead, go watch the commercial and enjoy Vikings fans unintentionally ridiculing themselves.
Here are five reasons why the Packers will beat the Vikings:
Let’s assume Teddy Bridgewater plays instead of Christian Ponder. I hope Bridgewater is healthy enough to go. It’s important that the young man learns early in his career that the Packers are superior to the team he plays for. The Packers currently have the NFL’s fifth-best pass defense. Not too shabby considering they’ve faced some excellent QB/WR combos so far. Bridgewater looked good in his debut, but everything was in rhythm. He took his drop, found his first read, threw the ball, rinsed and repeated. We’ll see how Bridgewater plays when Tramon Williams or Sam Shields have his first read blanketed and he has to progress through his reads.
It sounds like Chad Greenway will miss his second straight game, which means something named Gerald Hodges will start at inside linebacker. Just-a-guy Jasper Brinkley will be lined up on one side of Hodges and rookie Anthony Barr on the other. Barr is freaky talented, but the other two remind me of A.J. Hawk and Brad Jones. That’s good news for the Packers.
Tight end awakening
Both Richard Rodgers and Andrew Quarless have shown signs of life recently. Brandon Bostick hasn’t even been allowed to play yet. If the Packers can just a little more production out of the tight end position, especially in the middle of the field, this offense will take off and the Vikings say the hell with it and just go home.
The Vikings have a shaky offensive line. Left tackle Matt Kalil is good, not great. Right guard Vladimir Ducasse is a career backup and not a very good one. The Packers pass rush hasn’t been dominant, but it hasn’t been bad either. A rookie QB and/or Christrian Ponder playing behind a kinda shaky offensive line could be just what the Packers pass rushers need to get going.
Can’t get any worse…can it?
The Packers are dead last in run defense by a wide margin. It can’t get any worse, can it? A Vikings team without Adrian Peterson should be the perfect recipe to get the run defense back on track, right? Well…..
Sometimes the Vikings beat the Packers. It’s true. I’ve seen it happen a time or two and it makes me miserable. When the Vikings beat the Packers, it means a week’s worth of “Packers suck” quips that Vikings fans actually think is a clever putdown. It also means homophobic jokes about Aaron Rodgers’ sexuality from the same Vikings rubes in No. 69 Jared Allen jerseys who think it’s cool to mouth breathe the “fudge Packers” phrase. If the Vikings do win and subject me to a week of misery, here’s how it might happen:
Yeah, it can get worse
This Vikings running game without Adrian Peterson isn’t anything to scoff at. I had never heard of Jerick McKinnon until last week, but watch this kid on film. He’s crazy explosive, maneuvers well in the junk, and is very decisive once he eyes a seem. Matt Asiata isn’t anything special, but he’s a nice bulldozer to McKinnon’s flash. The Vikes will try and pound the ball to keep Rodgers on the sideline and they have the running backs to do it, even without Peterson.
Adam Czech is a a freelance sports reporter living in the Twin Cities and a proud supporter of American corn farmers. When not working, Adam is usually writing about, thinking about or worrying about the Packers. Follow Adam on Twitter. Twitter .