I hate the Seahawks. Pete Carroll is annoying. I’m sick of hearing about how loud their stupid stadium is. Russel Wilson is a terrible actor in bad commercials. Half the team is jacked up on PEDs. I can never figure out what Richard Sherman is yelling about.
I hope the Packers beat the Seahawks on Thursday by 12 touchdowns. Then I hope they build a giant bonfire at midfield, burn every last piece footage from the Fail Mary, and dance around the flames singing “Bang the Drum all Day” until dawn.
Unfortunately, none of that will likely happen, but the Packers can most definitely beat the Seachickens. Here are five reasons why:
Aaron Rodgers
Well, duh. The Packers will have the best player on the field Thursday in Aaron Rodgers. As an added bonus, Rodgers is back with something to prove after missing half of last season. QB1 seemed edgier during training camp. I wonder if he’s exiting the phase of his career where he’s a young guy establishing himself as a great player and entering the phase where he knows he’s a great player, expects greatness out of others, and is desperate to win now because who knows how long that greatness might last? I’m looking forward to a grouchier Aaron Rodgers in 2014.
Eddie Lacy
Big phat Eddie Lacy makes an old-school football loving guy like me giggle uncontrollably. The way he sets up blocks, his patience and vision, his explosiveness once he decides where to go, trucking smaller defenders, refusing to go down when tacklers pile on him, a slick spin move — all of it reminds me of football before the rulebook was re-written to encourage 60 passes per game. The yards won’t come easy against Seattle’s defense, but Lacy needs the ball early if the Packers want to win. When Mike McCarthy ignored the run until the second half against Seattle in 2012, the results were disastrous.
New rules
Speaking of the rulebook being re-written to encourage 60 passes per game, supposedly refs will be flagging any and all downfield contact on receivers. In the exhibition season, illegal contact calls were up 450 percent and defensive holding was up 353 percent compared to last season. We all know the Seahawks are a bunch of cheaters. If enforcement of downfield contact carries over into the regular season, it should help the Packers receivers against the physical (and cheating) Seahawks secondary.
Casey Hayward is back
Remember Casey Hayward? He’s the guy who picked off six passes and almost won defensive rookie of the year in 2012 before missing most of the next season with a bum hamstring. He’s back now, and he looked damn good in exhibition games. If the Packers training staff tapes up his hamstring nice and tight, Hayward’s addition to the defense will help slow down the likes of Percy Harvin and contain Russell Wilson.
Jordy Effing Nelson
To beat the Seahawks, you need receivers who aren’t fazed by their defensive backs’ devious grabbing, holding and pushing ways. Jordy Effing Nelson isn’t fazed by any of that. Jordy’s not open? No problem, Rodgers will just whip a pass by some defender’s earhole and Jordy will catch it. Jordy is out of room on the sideline? No worries, Rodgers will just fire a laser 3 yards out of bounds and Jordy will stretch to catch it with both feet in. A defender is on top of Jordy after a quick pass? Sheeeeeeeeit, the Jordy stiff arm will knock him to the ground in an instant.
Jordy. Effing. Nelson.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t97iUtHi00
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Adam Czech is a a freelance sports reporter living in the Twin Cities and a proud supporter of American corn farmers. When not working, Adam is usually writing about, thinking about or worrying about the Packers. Follow Adam on Twitter. Twitter .
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You had me at ‘effing’…
They WILL Dominate Seattle in ALL facets of the game!
Nelson and Cobb are good enough to get some calls. Interesting that the only reason listed on defense is the return of Hayward, which is a decent reason. I think better run support and tackling by the secondary might have slipped into the top 5, but I am not quibbling.
Adam, come on man, tell us how you really feel! But just to play a little devils advocate with you, I’m kinda tired of hearing about Rodgers has something to prove, because that never seems to beat the Niners with his chip of not being drafted by them. Besides, he’s throwing into the best defense in the world. Lacy can be stopped by Seattle’s line in spite of missing a few of their key players. Our d-backs and safeties could be the best the Packers have ever fielded against a QB I’ve never been convinced is all that great. But he can also run, can the Pack line contain? The defense has to shut down Harvin and Wilson’s running, and not give up the long plays, something the Pack led the league in 2011. Rodgers has to remember not to hold the ball too long and live to play the next week. And then there’s Jordy Effing Nelson….watch the video, case closed.
In three career games against Seattle, “Jordy Effing Nelson” has averaged 2.3 catches and 26 yards per game, with 0 TDs. Not sure if this is your best argument…
Two of those games were in 2009 and 2008, so I’m not really sure how they have any bearing on or relevance to a game in 2014.
“Breed” by Nirvana as a backdrop to Nelson’s awesomeness? Yes, please.
Julius Peppers and CM3 may be the biggest factors in the game. Russell Wilson loves to roll out and is at his best when he does. I’m not sold on Wilson as a pocket passer, so if they can keep him contained and apply pressure, Seattle’s offense is in trouble.
That would be my strategy. But we must hold teh middle to have a chance. I don’t think we can do that w CMIII/JP swung wide.
That’s where we just may surprise teams Archie. Peppers will be moving around, he won’t just be on the edge. Imagine a pass rush of Matthews, Peppers, Neal, Daniels, and Perry. All are quick, strong, and will be lined up all over coming from different directions. As fancrusher mentioned keep Wilson contained because pressure WILL come up the middle. By who will be Wilson’s problem.
I sure hope you are right and the 2014 edition of DC’s defense is a lot different from the last several. This is Dom’s 5th year with us and so far the trend is down. If he disappoints again there should be hell to pay.
I agree with you there Archie, Capers has to be held accountable this season if his defense is 25th again. I really think he can reverse the trend though. His entire career he’s been good for his first 2 or 3 seasons with a club and then falls apart. Obviously a lot depends on health. Last season the Packers had just 10 starters play 16 games, 10! If this team stays healthy, especially on the OL and defense, the offense will just keep getting better and better. Adams, Janis, Rodgers II, HHCD, and D. Jones will just keep getting better and better the more they play. It starts with Seattle.
The game is going to be decided on GBs ability to stop the run. Our OL will pass protect just fine and Lacy will get his yards. We’re not the Broncos – GBs offense is perhaps the most balanced in the NFL. We’re going to score.
I’m not worried that much about the pass either. But can our D stop Lynch? YTBD.
I’d bet we lose a close one. 24-28.
GB run game vs SEA run D – SEA
GB pass game vs SEA pass D – Push
GB run D vs SEA run game – SEA
GB pass D vs SEA pass game – SEA
ST vs ST – SEA
Venue – SEA
Coaching – SEA
SEA 38 – GB 17
GB run game vs SEA run D – GB (Lacey/OL/Harris/Starks factor)
GB pass game vs SEA pass D – GB (Rodgers factor)
GB run D vs SEA run game – double SEA
GB pass D vs SEA pass game – Push (Wilson good for 200 yds and 1 TD)
ST vs ST – SEA – maybe but GB ST looked much improved in preseason
Venue – SEA
Coaching – SEA
Venue and coaching may prove to be the difference. No doubt SEA will run all over Packer defense. If I’m wrong about that then GB wins!
GB run vs Sea D- GB
Sea run vs GB D – Sea
GB pass vs Sea D – Push
Sea pass vs GB D – Push
Special teams – ?
Venue – Sea
Coach – Push
Seattle looks to have the advantage, but we really don’t yet know what we have with our new defense. Or what Wilson can really do as a passer.
The Packers have faced Harvin numerous times, and I never felt he was as awesome as advertised, but maybe the new environment changes all.
When healthy Harvin is as good as it gets. Listen to Tramon, he knows of what he speaks.
Well, most advantage goes to Seattle, but I like GBs Oline, so it could be a good fair fight. If GB dbacks play well (no blown assignments) it could be a fair fight. If the D can set the edge and not get sucked inside, and can contain Wilson with some pressure…then it tips to GB. Its about who is going to avoid mistakes. I’m most worried about Special Teams.
Hiring of Zook looks to have fixed ST problems that have existed forever under MM/Slocum.
Very inspirational Mr Czech! I’am taking your article to a new Effing level! This morning after reading this masterpiece I have a new Effing view of the Pacific North West. No more StarBucks for me, It’s Dunkin Dounuts Time!. My Nirvana and Pear Jam CD’s are headed for the trash bin and right after I post this I will smash my Windows PC and and will forbid the use of Microsoft products in my humble abode. Hey Bill Gates Stick it where the Sun Don’t Shine! No more Flying on Boeing aircraft those, Effing Airbus jets are Effing so cool! I would love to stay here and shoot the Effing breeze with my Packer Brethren but I have to rush over to the Apple store and buy a Macbook. Thank You Steve Jobs. And A Effing A to you Adam Czech!
One reason why the Packers can beat the Seahawks:
Where did anyone get the idea the Packers haven’t, don’t, or can’t compete on the same level as the Seahawks?
Could someone direct me to the recent Packers-Seahawks game where the Seahawks made the Packers look like a vastly inferior team?
Same question applies to the 49ers as well.
For all the talk of how the Packers are a tier below the 49ers and Seahawks… They seem to almost always give either team as much as they can handle. Football games often come down to a play here, and inch there. The Packers are in it, no reason to think otherwise.
Exactly. In fact, even more so with the Seahawks than the 49ers.
Almost is the key word.
SEA is not a high scoring team is you avoid TOs and slow down the beast. But SEA doesn’t turn it over so they usually win the TO battle. And R Wilson is a lot like Fran Tarkenton – defenses exhaust themselves chasing him around and they rarely catch him. A fast and physical defense combined with a fast and physical offense. And P Harvin is a lot more dangerous than Golden Tate. The Pack has its hands full. Should the Pack win this game Packer fans will be on the ceiling! I think we have about a 25% chance of winning. Rarely, if ever, do we get blown out w Mr. Rodgers in the neighborhood. So game will probably see-saw in the 7 point range. One big play at the right time could swing it our way. I will not be betting the game.I assume o/u = ~50.
Look up last year’s NFL defensive stats for a clue. And then look at the W-L records. Then TO for/against. Then who won the SB in a blowout? SEA was the team to beat last year, is the team to beat this year and will be the team to beat next year. This era shall be known as the SEA dynasty. They are who were supposed to be after we won it all in 2010. But injuries and a horrible defensive slide (missed on all defensive draft picks since SB) robbed us of our destiny. It’s not too late yet but we are now the chasers not the chasee. Personally, until we replace our starting NT-ILB triad I think we are just a fart in the wind. Ron Wolf.
Rogers should chuck a few deep balls early in the game and should get a least 3-4 PIs called against Seattle. The refs are going to call em tight, and Sawks aren’t used to that. .
Maybe. It depends what you mean. In my mind, fire with fire. You Seahawks think you’re tough? Meet Mr. Lacy. And when you think that you can handle him, THEN we’ll send a few balls deep.
If I’m MM, I’m *salivating* at the thought of beating some Seahawk face…
Rodgers and Lacy is a helluva 1-2 punch, I will give you that. But it will be about our defense and their offense. If their offense beats our defense we will lose as we usually do in all big games. My prediction – Rodgers will have the ball in his hands with a chance to win at the end. We will be down by 7 or less but there will be little time on the clock and/or the distance to the goal line will be great. It will take one helluva an heroic for AROD to win this one for us but that is why the world will be tuned in – because it could happen. Once we finally win a game like this, it will have a great effect on this team. But, till I see this defense play a good team tough for 60 mins I’m not believin it.
One word or two I guess missing from this article.
” SUPERBOWL HANGOVER”
The first paragraph of this article is probably the best thing I’ve ever read in my life.
Obviously anybody can beat anybody on a given day and the reasons offered are certainly solid ones. What’s not given is 5 reasons why SEA could beat the Pack. The SB hangover is a good point but I don’t see it happening to this team. Pete Carrol wants to win three in a row. He is driven enough to make it happen. This team is still very young. If the beast went down on the first play, it would not matter, they have two more guys behind him as good or better. R Wilson is irreplaceable. Maybe the guys in the secondary too. P Harvin is a superstar when healthy.
I just thought up a new NLF geat item, inspired by Adam. A Tee-shirt with Jordy Nelsons’ smilin’ face (say, after a touchdown) and underneath in bold attacking font: “JFN” Jordy Freekin’ Nelson!
With AJ Hawk, Brad Jones and the troika of Pennel, Guion, and Boyd the Seachickens have no chance of running up the middle against the Pack.
That is one scary group of interior defenders I tells ya.
2 overpaid never-has-beens and 3 unknowns is your reason for liking the Pack in this game? That’s funny.