Top 10 Reasons the Rapture Will be Especially Bad for Packers Fans

ALLGBP.com All Green Bay Packers All the Time

Go Pack! Just wanted to get that out of the way in case this is the last post I’ll ever be writing here.

The Rapture: Seems that today, May 21st, 2011, some of us Packer fans may be leaving this earth for a better place (oh, there’s a Lambeau Field in heaven?) while the rest will be forced to stay behind and watch the Vikings win a Championship. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment…

But seriously (ok, not really), all this hooey did get me thinking a bit. If any group in the world right now has a vested interest in things staying just as they are, it’s Cheesehead Nation.

Why should we be deprived of a full year to be able to say, “World Champion Green Bay Packers” to any Vikings or Bears fans dumb enough to try to talk smack with us.

Amazingly there are even better reasons. Even more fabulous things we would miss out on if this really is THE END.

So with apologies to David Letterman, here’s my list of Top Ten Things Packers Fans Will Never Experience if the World Ends Today.

10.  The joy of seeing Shawn Slocum get fired for yet another year of horrible special teams play.

9.    Finding out which model or actress Aaron Rodgers finally marries.

8.   Witnessing the Ted Thompson Leg Cross.

7.   Watching Bears and Vikings fans fall into deep depressions.

6.   Seeing an Aaron Rodgers statue erected in Green Bay before Brett Favre gets one.

5.   Good pad level producing pawsitive results.

4.   James “Neo” Starks proving the Oracle was right- he is the one.

3.   Brett Favre un-retiring again to play in the Lingerie Football League. Think of the sexting possibilities…

2.  Mason Crosby averaging 80% on field goals (actually, that wasn’t going to happen anyway…)

And finally, the number one thing Packers fans will never experience if the world ends today…

1.   Finding out for sure that Nick Barnett (a.k.a. Nostradamus) really meant, “Super Bowl and Die.”

Damn you Nick. Goodbye cruel world…

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Jersey Al Bracco is the founder and editor of AllGreenBayPackers.com, and the co-founder of Packers Talk Radio Network. He can be heard as one of the Co-Hosts on Cheesehead Radio and is the Green Bay Packers Draft Analyst for Drafttek.com.

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  • Rick

    wHAAAAA??!!!

  • CJ in Guatemala

    Hahahaha, superb lines out there, but #1 takes the price home. Very well done Al!

    • http://allgbp.com Jersey Al

      Thanks!

  • Ron LC

    My #1 – The Packers have a full compliment of O linemen and are 5 deep behind the starters.

    You baited me into this Al. I’m never one to pass up the low hanging fruit.

    • http://allgbp.com Jersey Al

      At least you’re consistent…

  • Lombardi is home

    The only problem with this is that if all the stories are true that I’ve read then Aaron Rodgers and most of his receivers will be leaving the world today too.

  • Ruppert

    My number 10A: We wouldn’t have to deal with any more of this lockout bull$#!^.

    Great post, Al.

  • BubbaOne
    • http://allgbp.com Jersey Al

      Thanks Bubba – I’ll let PFW know…

      • BubbaOne

        Already did…I took your que from your article re Wilde.

        • BubbaOne

          oops…cue

  • BubbaOne
  • Curley2808

    Actually, the “Rapture” happened last year. If you are a true Packer Fan, you made it…you were “raptured,” If you are a fan of any other team…sorry, but enjoy your stay!

    • http://allgbp.com Jersey Al

      I like it…

      • Curley2808

        Jersey Al, you know…the guy claiming there’s going to be a “do-over” rapture today, is from Oakland. It’s probably just Al Davis, further taunting those who were damned (the guy certainly looks like he would be the boss down there, doesn’t he.) He’s promising them a chance, a glimmer of hope, that they too can be with the Packer Fans. How cruel!

        • http://allgbp.com Jersey Al

          haha. Davis is starting to look like Harold Camping. Hmmm…

          • Curley2808

            I’m sure Al Davis (being “Hell’s Honcho”) has many henchmen. Camping is just one of them. Two others are Rodger Goodell and Demaurice Smith. He’s not done with Favre yet either, might put him in broadcasting…Nooooo!

  • Thomas Hobbes

    #1: seeing the Packers score a kick off return touchdown, can you believe that last one was made by Allen Rossum IN 2000?!?!?!

  • FireMMNow

    hey al, how about an article on TTs top ten player/coach acquistions and ten worst acquisitions. FA, Coaches, Draft all included? could be an interesting read. i would like to see your take. coming up with the ten worst would probably be harder.